a brave new world

i am sibling number 3 out of 4, i've been an uncle for slightly over a year, i have no young cousins, and i therefore have no experience in the thing new dads dread most...changing diapers. so it didn't take long for my wife, who knew my lack of diaper-changing skills, to offer up my assistance when things started to stink.

and so it was, that on the 3rd day of october, in the 7th year of the 21st century, the year of our Lord, that i doth changeth a diaper.

it wasn't so bad. at least not the first time. or even the second and third times. with little grace being quite prolific - she does 'number two' eight to ten times a day - i was provided an ample amount of practice attempts. by the time day 4 rolled around, i achieved diaper-changing mastery.

and as is with most stories, it's just about the time that you start to feel comfortable when the truth hits you like a back-side linebacker.

my wife was itching to get out of the house. she and her mom were going to to take a "quick trip to target - 2 hours at the most." with my newly discovered prowess in diaper-changing, i told them that i would have no problem holding down the fort.

less than 15 minutes after they were gone, a now distinct aroma filled my nostrils. i knew it was time. with no help, and no reinforcements within hearing range - save our 1-year old yellow lab (who would have loved to help) - it was time for me to take on the dirty diaper. up the stairs, into the nursery, and onto the changing table. when the onesie came off, i got a true whiff of what i was up against. and judging by the yellow wet spot in the back, the diaper didn't hold up its end of the job. this is what people in the world of parenting refer to as a 'blowout'. it's a fairly self-descriptive event. 4 wet-wipes later, and an additional one for my own hand, i was starting to think the job was over. then came the flood. after all, what better time to relieve yourself than when the diaper is off and the body free?

with much humility, i accepted defeat from the combined efforts of the fearsome 'one and two'.

it is evident to me that i am in a realm of unfamiliar territory.